Nearly nineteen, been single for a whole year, in on a Friday night!

This time last year i had just finished my first major relationship i was exhausted, unhappy, low in confidence, unhappy and under weight. I had no clue of where i was or where i was going.

i believe that there is a point in your life where you can fuck up as much as possible and continue to do so until the voice in the back of your head tells you to stop, and when you actually have the courage to do it. you can wait around for someone to save you or help you back on your feet. when it all comes down to it only you can save yourself with a little help and encouragement from your friends and your family.

A relationship with the wrong person can completely destroy you, you forget small details about yourself, what you like to do, who your friends are, what your relationship with your family is like, what you want in life, the reasons why you are even in that relationship in the first place becomes hazy. when i came out of this relationship i had to completely rebuild my life.

i had passed my a-levels with bad grades and had to face this fact with a brave face in knowledge that the reason behind this WAS that i had spent my final year getting stoned and having sex.
i had to apologise to my close friends and family for being so distant, rebuild most of these relationships/friendships.
find a job or some direction for the next year or so as i had no idea what i was doing with my life,

so a year on from that moment where i picked myself up and sorted it all out, and everything is so different... i look different, i know where i am going in life, i know what i like to do, who i like to spend my time with..... the only thing that isn't different is that i still haven't healed from some of the bull shite that my ex put me through, still havent found the courage to date other men or spend sober/innocent time with the male species!
to be continued...